My mentor, Robert Warner, always said no one was born in the garden of Eden.  My life is an example of this.  In my life I’ve faced difficulties due to forces outside my control and those due to my poor choices.  Today, I live a life committed to God with four great kids, a husband of 15 years, a great job for 16 years, great friends and forever family a college degree and leading a class at church. This from suicidal at 10, pregnant at 15, college drop out, former waitress.  It was not by accident.  My life could have turned out so differently. I turned out differently because the women in my life believed in God.  My mother, grandmothers and aunts were God-fearing women. My foundation was solidly built to stand even when the storms came and the horrible happened.  I believed in God.  I believed in the Bible.  Even when I didn’t know I believed and I didn’t really trust, all that I had learned remained like a small ember struggling to survive.  I survived because I always knew this was war.

Me without my faith would equal death.  That small ember said no to death because I believed in Hell even if I was unsure about Heaven.  My mustard seed faith said no (eventually) to unGodly behaviors and speech because I believed it displeased my Lord who died for my sins even when I believed that I was broken beyond repair.  That ember would remain until united with other little embers at White’s Ferry Road Church and Celebrate Recovery.  It would remain until it was fanned gently until the ember became a flame.

Me without that faith would not believe in Hell or Heaven and would have said yes to sweet oblivion of death.  I would have continued to seek oblivion in whatever manner I could find it without a thought to an eternity I couldn’t fathom.  I could have killed in anger and pain.  I had thought of it.  I could have descended in a fog of drugs to numb the pain.  I could continued to betray anyone and everyone for my own selfish desires. I could continued to be filled with anger and sadness and blame my parents and men and God for the events of my life.  These are the symptoms of a life without God as the anchor and foundation.  Does any of this sound familiar?  And I would have missed seeing my daughter perform at the Bayou Classic on TV.  I would have missed getting married in front of my Grandmother before she passed away.  I would have missed seeing my son graduate from Navy boot camp. I would have missed seeing my younger boys play the violin. And I would have missed holding my granddaughter.