I was afraid most of my life. I was afraid of everything. Afraid of people….Afraid to be alone. Afraid of failure….Afraid of success. Afraid of relationship….Afraid of never having a relationship. Most of my decisions in life were based on which fear reigned supreme.
An example of my decision making process:
I was encouraged to take a course offered by my employer. I did it. Fear of disappointing > fear of failure
It required travel. I did it. Fear of disappointing > fear of the unknown
It required public speaking. I did it. Fear of being considered a coward > fear of public embarrassment
I didn’t trust my decision making ability because of the colossal errors in judgement I had made. I agonized over every possible outcome and usually did not act at all. I allowed others to make decisions for me. All I wanted was perfection. I wanted to make all the “right” decisions. I wanted to do everything “right”. But no one gets it right every time–no matter how you try. You can think and rethink and analyze and pick apart every action and every possible reaction but your decision can only be based on the information available to you and circumstances you can control.
Realize I’m not God; I admit that I am powerless to control my tendency to do the wrong thing and that my life is unmanageable.
This is the first principle of Celebrate Recovery. For me it meant that I will never know the end of the story from the beginning. Only God does. I meant that I will make mistakes, but God forgives and heals. It meant that there are many things outside my control, but my faith is in a God that created the universe. It meant that I will never be perfect this side of eternity, but God sees me as perfect through Jesus.
Do I still get afraid? 
Uh..yeah.. My heart races and I don’t know if I’m going to throw up or faint. (Hoping for faint–Embarrassment of vomit > embarrassment of fainting) The flesh is ever hard to control. I trust that, in all things, God is in control.
Verses to remember in times of fear and anxiety:
“For God has not given us a spirit of fear, but of power and of love and of a sound mind.” 2 Timothy 1:7
“There is no fear in love. But perfect love drives out fear, because fear has to do with punishment. The one who fears is not made perfect in love.” 1 John 4:18
“Tell everyone who is discouraged, Be strong and don’t be afraid! God is coming to your rescue…” Isaiah 35:4
“And I am convinced that nothing can ever separate us from God’s love. Neither death nor life, neither angels nor demons, neither our fears for today nor our worries about tomorrow—not even the powers of hell can separate us from God’s love.” Romans 8:38-39
“’For I am the Lord, your God, who takes hold of your right hand and says to you, Do not fear; I will help you. Do not be afraid, for I myself will help you,’ declares the Lord, your Redeemer, the Holy One of Israel.” Isaiah 41:13-14
Be Blessed.
FREE AND REDEEMED 