I will be giving my testimony at Journey Church in Pineville Louisiana on April 29th. I’m having a little anxiety.

Not, as many would, about speaking in public. Ironically, when giving my testimony, I feel the power of God stronger than any other time. When I’m standing at the lectern, I don’t feel the fear you would expect. The entire time I am there, it’s like an out of body experience. I am there and I’m reading and looking up and looking around and gesturing and I know I look like I know what I’m doing. I am not derailed by verbal misstep and keep going like a pro. There are inflections in tone and appropriate pauses. And I marvel. It’s all God. I barely remember doing it.

Early attempts at public speaking as a child in bible school and later in junior high were a disaster. Well practiced and rehearsed speaking parts turned to dust on my tongue as I stared into the eyes of a sea of people. Fear paralyzed. Then came shame.

But up there now, I know it’s not by my power. My life of the last nine years has all been powered by my dependence on the power of God. In those years God has shown me, as I paraphrase Jeremiah 33:3, great and mighty things that I did not know. Things better than I could ever hope to see: brought out from the slavery to flesh, freed from the shame of abuse that I bore no guilt in, redeemed from the guilt of all my sin and made to understand that I am God’s own possession.

Now back to the cause of my anxiety. The drive. Crazy right. Imma tell you a secret. I didn’t start driving until my 30’s. I was full of fear about driving, but I gave it over to God and boom I was driving. But I still don’t like driving far from home. Therefore, I make myself do it over and over again. I’m a worst case scenario thinker. I think about “what if I get lost?”, “what if I get into a wreck?”, “what if I get in wreck and die!?”. All of these things (oh and that I could go and return with no incident) are possible. What does faith over fear mean to me today?

If I get lost, I have GPS and I will trust that God will calm my heart so I can get back on track. (Sounds like a sermon doesn’t it). If I get into a wreck, it’s just material things and I have insurance for a reason. I will thank God for protection. And if I die….

When I die, and one day I and everyone else surely will if Jesus does not return, I pray that my family recalls that to live is Christ and to die is gain (Philippians 1:21). At the end of my life, I hope it is said that I did not love my life so much as to shrink from death (Revelations 12:11). To make a full circle, that verse talks about brothers and sisters overcoming by the word of their testimony. And when I step from this life to eternal life I just want to hear the Master say “Well done, good and faithful servant” Matthew 25:23.
Be Blessed