I’ve been watching videos on Facebook of violence by police. I don’t usually do that. I like watching funny videos or punny memes or nerdy stuff. I want to believe just as much as anyone that racism isn’t a problem. It would certainly make it easier to leave my kid in Baton Rouge in the fall. And in reality I didn’t have to look at videos because I have learned to accept as fact that there is a person I’ll never meet that would hate me from a photo. Some people see my skin and try to determine what kind of black person I am. Am I the welfare mom having a ton of kids on their  dime? Am I on drugs? Am I going to steal? Am I going to get aggressive? Am I too lazy to get a job? Or am I that rare creature known as a “good one”. If I may boast, I’m usually the later. Sometimes I think people don’t notice I’m black. People I know of course. People who have taken the time to get to know me beyond the skin I’ve been surrounded in for almost 48 years. How does this knowledge shape me?  I have a few trust issues. Ok a lot of trust issues. You may think the only sure things are death and taxes but I think the one sure thing is that all people have the potential to be awful. I’ve been awful. The seventh circle of hell is reserved for traitors. That’s where I deserve to be. I have always tried to be a person who follows God but I was a traitor. I betrayed someone who had every expectation that I could be trusted and I spit on their faith in me. Betrayal like being killed by someone whose job description says protect and defend. I’ve been touched by awful people who saw a victim and and made me theirs. People who have tried to whip the naiveté from me. But my rose colored glasses are crooked but still perched on my nose. How does this knowledge shape me?  I don’t let it. I choose to treat everyone like me. I will meet you knowing that you might hurt me accidentally or selfishly or in anger intentionally. But I will leave that in God’s hands. Because he told me to love you. Not warm fuzzies but  choice. But I also can’t be silent. I have grandkids that I hope will never be judged by their skin color but in all likelihood already have. I would pray that this discussion about equality and justice will lead to changes that will not have them marching again in 40 years or worse. We must call out inequality in all forms at every opportunity. No excuses. No qualifications. I’m not talking to you, I’m talking more to me. What does racism look like. Anyone. It looks like teachers and Walmart cashier and Uber divers and police and religion people and people who would put my kid’s job application in the trash cause her name sounds too ethnic. Acknowledge that twinge that you feel when you see someone that doesn’t look like you. Grab it and examine it. Then throw it where all ungodly impulses go… at the foot of the cross. Search us Lord and remove anything in our lives and hearts that doesn’t glorify You and point people to You. Be Blessed y’all.